This week confidence and relationship coach Nadine Montaghami shares her harrowing tale of survival. A violently traumatic day 8 years ago opened up a world of possibility for Nadine, as she had an unexpected “ah-ha moment.” This wake-up call was the spark that changed everything.

I invited Nadine onto the show because in reading her story (the same story she shares in this episode) I was particularly struck by how she had chosen to view this particular moment, a moment in which she was certain she would die… but didn’t.

Looking at her confident smile and calm demeanor today, it is hard to imagine the violent events that less than a decade ago shifted her outlook and approach to life… and to herself. Today Nadine is able to appreciate her own beauty and worth in ways that she never imagined, and more importantly, her work is now dedicated to helping other women do the same.

Stories of trauma and domestic abuse are nothing new in our country, or in the UK where Nadine resides. In both places, roughly 1 in 4 women experience abuse at the hands of a trusted person over the course of their lifetime. 1 in 4. For men the numbers aren’t much better, averaging 1 in 6 in the UK and 1 in 9 here in the US. And while these incidences of violence are often underreported, of the stories we hear the healing process and transformation of those on the receiving end of the horror often end up as a footnote. For those of us digesting what we hear in these tales, it is all too easy to simply say “whew glad that’s over” and forget about it entirely.

Except for survivors themselves.

The healing process matters. Deeply. Doing the tough work to heal these wounds goes beyond simply forgiving and moving on. The forgiveness, the soul searching and the choices moving forward matters deeply, particularly because for many, like Nadine, physical reminders remain, and if you have chosen to share the story of what happens, people will ask you to tell and retell and tell again. Inner resilience becomes a shield, a weapon, and a beautiful tapestry all intertwined. It is Nadine’s outcome that makes Nadine’s story so incredibly beautiful.

Her wake-up call was that she didn’t need external validation, she needed internal validation. It was time to quit desperately seeking approval from outside herself, and do the tough work of loving her mind, her form, her spirit, and her gifts.

We would all do well to heed this call. God-willing we hear it loudly and without the need for trauma to overcome.

If you are a woman who wants to build powerful, confident, and loving committed relationships, you can find Nadine on Facebook where her private group Queen of Hearts serves as a safe and unfiltered space for growth.

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